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you only die once

You Only Die Once

A James Bond Spoof so cheap
you can't afford to miss it.

"A spirited little send-up of the bond films, low-budget, yet high energy"
-Danny Biederman, Director of A SPY FOR ALL SEASONS
featuring Sean Connery.

DVD Release ©2003 NTSC REGION 0

The world's male population has been crippled by the impotence causing virus, Scrotitis. Blofelch and his right hand man, Melvin C. Fruitilbatle, plan to control the anti-virus for global domination. Lames Blond, Agent Double 0 Zero (00-0), awakens from a coma that has kept him unaffected by the virus. Is it possible that Blond is the only man with the balls to get the job done? Blond teams up with Felix Heavier (CIA) to fight such villains as Mr. Cowabunga (THE MAN WITH THE FOAMING HAND) and the seductive Sherly Bilt.

Although it was shot on film (16mm and Super 8mm) You Only Die Once is a beyond low budget direct to video feature. Because the film makers had no funds to hire "real" actors, the film was made to be intentionally bad quite often making fun of itself. To save on rented equipment the entire film was shot MOS. Or put more simply, without any sound recording equipment. The entire soundtrack was then added in post, voices and all.

A little bit of trivia. This is actually the 4th film in a series. Director John Wardlaw and his friends had been making films for years and created the character of Lames Blond Double O Zero in 1981. Protect and Survive was the first sound film the friends made together. They followed the film with A Dangerous Place and Too Late The Hero which ends with the death of Lames Blond (as seen in the opening sequence of You Only Die Once). Die Once was not originally intended to be released but at the films initial screening the audience reaction was so positive that Wardlaw decided to rework the film to be released. This meant stripping the film of music that he did not own the copyright to. Sadly the DVD version is missing many jokes that were set up by music from such TV series as Star Trek and Hawaii Five-0. To read the rest of the history of the film, click here.

You might recognize five of the actors in this film as the Five Year Photo Guys who had a viral story in 2012 about the photo they take every five years and have done so since 1982 (where they were actually shooting the 3rd Lames Blond spoof).

Unrated Directors cut, Directors audio commentary, deleted scene, scene selections, filmography.


you only die once
David Straede
John Molony
Mr. Cowabunga
John Wardlaw
Lames Blond
Shannon Perry

Mark Rumer
Melvin C. Fruitibatle

Additional Cast info | Digital Restoration | The Films History | Purchasing


John "Wedge" Wardlaw
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